will be blogging ang blogging via multiply for now. =)
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Monday, May 28, 2007
8:19 PM
... a kidnapping that turned 2 a perfect escape ...
it was the weekend that i was kind of scared to face... u know... i got used to looking forward to weekends coz it means spending time with MHL. but this weekend is a sadly, different one. so i planned it to be as simple as possible, sat morning swim, dvd marathon at night, same routine on sunday.
but it all changed when i got this very much biglaan kidnap call from papa dax right after doing my 1st lap @ Olivarez pool. they want me to join them. where to? Laiya Batangas!
And since i am almost ready to go, coz i have my toiletries and other important stuff with me (and since i actually needed that break, desperately pa nga!), i said yes. 1pm and we're on the road to Batangas.
i had sooo much fun. sa car, sa stopovers, sa foodtrips, sa picture taking ng mga funny spots, sa room na sarap matulog, sa hot shower, sa beach, sa pool, sa paglalakad sa beach, sa pagkikita with joseph and his gang, sa Generoso brandy, at sa mga boylets na eyecandy (si number 33 na super lasing, number 23 na mailap tumingin, si larry na ang sarap titigan habang naglalaro ng tubig sa pool, si joel na pumukaw sa atensyon ni phillip, at si michael na bet ni fitz kahit na may wedding ring). oi! wala pong nangyari dun ha! puro good gerls kmi promise!
truly, God is good. He knew what my heart yearns and needs at that specific time. and He kept me safe and warm. He gave me friends who can look after me in times like these.
And the kidnappin that happened, turned to a perfect escape... and i am now a lot better.
Thank you papa dax, sa dami ng puede mong tawagan, naisip mo ako.
Thank you fitz, sa pagtolerate sa kabaliwan ko sa car. ahihihi!
Thank you phillip, i gained a new friend! Uber bait! as in! salamat sa mga pics!
23 May 2007, 14:25 You: sana we could still see each other . . . in God's time.
i really miss you.
23 May 2007, 14:27 el_gwapito09: uhm sure.. wla naman prob dun e.. pde padin naman tau gmik dba po?
23 May 2007, 14:30 You: nice. uu! and puede naman magmahalan khit walang commitment d ba?
23 May 2007, 14:35 el_gwapito09: uhm pde din po un.. pero baka galit na naman mga frends mo saken ..
23 May 2007, 14:41 You: nyekkkkkkkk! anu ba yun! di naman sila nagagalit sayo e. Like any friend cguro, ayaw lang nila na hurting ako, pero di naman ako hurt. di rin ako regret. kung nasasad man ako, its bec i just miss u... we ere almost there. pero ang impt sa akin, minahal mo ako. yun naman imptante e. =)
honestly, automatic paggcng ko, chek ko kung may txt ka, saka pag nsa byahe ako pauwi, wala ako kakulitan sa text. hehehehe!
but im hoping, since mejo ok na now, puede na kita kulitin ulit. lolx!
23 May 2007, 14:47 el_gwapito09: aheehhehe.. oo naman d naman ako nawawalan ng load kaya makakareply ako waheheehe
23 May 2007, 14:48 You: verrr ged!
puede ba mahal pa rin tawag ko sayo?
23 May 2007, 14:50 el_gwapito09: uhm yup.. bakit naman hindi.. uhm sa cel phone ko nga mahal pa din nakalagay weh.. d ko pa pinapalitan ;)
23 May 2007, 14:55 You: ako din weh. mas okay tlga tayo na ganito noh? less pressure...
at least di rin tayo mapapagod...
happy na ako ulit. =)
jay... mahal ko... thank u ha.
u may have given up the commitment stuff... but as i see it, u never really gave up on me, we're friends and we'll be fine.
=)
23 May 2007, 14:57 el_gwapito09: uhm.. nakwento ko nga kay tanya lahat e.. tapos nabasa pa ni tanya ung mga blogs mo.. naiyak sha.. nakakahiya sha kse naka ofis kami biglang naluha... ehehehe pati si ronan..
thank you din jayd for evrythin .. :)
23 May 2007, 15:01 You: u deserve it, and ur welcome.
ahmm... pag feel mo ako tawaging mahal, ok lang po. toinkz! lol!
at pag namimiss mo ako, ok lang sabihin mo. *wink
that will really make me happy. no pressure yun ha. =)
23 May 2007, 15:04 el_gwapito09: opo.. :P mag eerase ako nung iabng na upload ko kahapon ung iba kase panget weh' ehehe
23 May 2007, 15:06 You: okay po! =)
alavyu! =) ---------------------------------
and here naman sa multiply.com:
jaydhunk said tnx for keepin d tag. =) even if i didnt get 2 see u wear it, and we didnt get to wear it together, keep it close.
elgwapito09 said suot ko po everyday.. :)
jaydhunk said wag mo ko paiyakin! hmpfffffffffffff! hehehe! ako kahit tulog... knina nga muntik ko di matanggal bago maligo weh!
tpos tuwing gigising ako, buhol buhol na sya!
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God is a good God. =) Thank u po.
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007
4:55 PM
... on moving on ...
When i try to recall how i was able to easily move on when i broke up with my previous great love (Joseph), i remember that it was easy for me simply because I was the one who gave up on him.
Until Jay, another great love, gave up on me last nyt.
I thought i would be miserable. But i am coping too well. I still have his pics on my pillow last nyt. I still played his songs on my player this morning but I am surprised that I have less drama.
And it got me to thinking that my previous statement was not true in all cases.
In a relationship: (tono ala Carrie Bradshaw) If you gave your best, if you gave more, if you trusted and understood, if you were patient and kind, if you went out of your way and crossed the line, if you went out of your comfort zone... all for the one you love, u can easily move on... whether you give up, or you were given up.
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10:59 AM
... M H L ...
we may have not been the best couple out there, but we know deep inside our hearts that we tried. i will not take it against you if you cannot cross the line with me, coz its you. thou i have done my part, i will always be happy i did it.
they say that when u meet a person, it is for a certain purpose. and i guess this makes sense: God gave u to me because He wanted to move me and make me feel what love is and to feel loved. Even for a short time, I felt cloud nine again. And i am sooooooooo happy that you were that person, jay medes. I will miss you. I will still love you.
And i dont want to remember you as the person who gave up on me. Instead, I want to remember you as the person who made me appreciate the wonder of waiting. I have never been patient and understanding in my whole life.
Kindly keep our pendant. A reminder of our story. Short but sweet. A some kind of mad love. Something that i will never ever forget.
This morning, before goin to work, i dropped by Edsa Shrine. It was my 1st time to visit the Shrine, and it was my 1st time to visit a church this year. I have not been goin to church since 2005 (or 2004 even) i guess. I have been spiritual for the longest time but this morning, like no ordinary morning, i desperately felt the need for some shelter to comfort me.
I first sat on one corner until i realized that there are a lot of people which somehow distracts me. So I transferred to one of the front seats. And there, it felt more peaceful. I felt stronger. I know very well that I dont have to utter a single word. God knows what is inside my heart at that very moment. And then i started to cry.
I have been crying for 2 nyts already. The 1st nyt, i kept it to myself coz i know it was just what i needed. I thought its gonna make me feel better. Well, it did, but only for sometime coz the ff day, i again felt lonely and wanting. The 2nd nyt, my bestfriend and some other dear friends kidnapped me after my swim class and took me out for some window shopping and dinner. And during those times, i just proved to myself, I was really lonely. I have companion already but I still cant get to manage it. I gave fake smiles and false attentions. I cant seem to feel okay coz I know that inside me, I am bleeding. On our way home, i was not able to control it. I started to weep silently while we were still inside my friend's van. My bestfriend Archie, who was seated next to me, saw it and reached for my arm and held it tight. That moment, i let go. It was a familiar touch which used to comfort me. And i realized, it was just what i needed that time. He was with me till i reached home.
About 2 weeks ago, a friend asked me if it has ever happened to me that i woke up one morning crying coz it just happened to him. He found it weird but i told him it has happened to me once before and that he just needs to let it go. This morning, for the 2nd time, i was crying when i woke up. I was actually not feeling well to go to work but I have to go to work. I was really not in my senses today coz u know what, i soaped my body first before conditioning my hair. I had to redo my entire bath ritual. I was not thinking. Or i guess, i was still not awake. or my mind is somewhere else.
So, I decided to go somewhere peaceful where i can let go of what i still have here inside me. And yes, I went to church this morning. I cried to Him and that was just what i needed.
God is wise. He knows my inner core. And though my love shakes my inner core, only Him can make it heal.
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Saturday, May 19, 2007
2:55 PM
... glow na hindi asg ...
glow 1 glow 2 sabi ni ati (earvin/stunner), fresh daw ako sa set na to. pwes, tingnan ko nga kung ano sasabihin nila at bka bias ka lang ati! ahahahahah!
yung nakawhite ako, taken nung may flu ako. yung naka-army shirt ako, taken kninang madaling araw pagkauwi from BED (mga 2am na)!
this song just so fits what i feel ryt now! =) i dont have all the riches and fame, but i have my greatest love, a very fun and supportive set of friends, and a loving and caring family!
my life is more colorful than the rainbow. oh yes. *wink
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Mandy Moore - Extraordinary
I was a bay tree Quiet and unseen I lived in stories but inside I kept a mystery I was a starling Nobody’s darling Flying in perfect circles Desperate company
[Chorus] And now I’m ready And now I’m ready And now I’m ready to be Extraordinary
A midnight airplane A window blowing I know I am another sparkle in the sky I shine on copper Still undiscovered But you must see me in the corner of your eye
[Chorus] And now I’m ready And now I’m ready And now I’m ready to be Extraordinary
Waking up to wake up some day I am my own prey Stopping off at a sidewalk cafe The wind is playing up in the trees Kicking up confetti leaves Sings as if it’s all to say
[Chorus] And now I’m ready And now I’m ready And now I’m ready to be Extraordinary
And now I’m ready And now I’m ready And now I’m ready to be Extraordinary
after almost 2 months of swimming sessions... i got leaner! =p more toned than ever and yeah, i have more stamina now. and lo! i enjoy the tumble so much and i can do 4 laps continuously na! loving it!
ad astra per aspera
To become a powerful God,
u have to become a legend.
To become a legend,
u have to become a hero.
To become a hero,
u will have to beat me.
Good Luck.
the radioslave
26yo, queer, versa/b
(h) paranaque city
(o) ortigas center
5'7, 150lbs, tanned e mail me
ym id: jaydhunk
digits: 0906.410.2526
always perfumed
never mastered
forever slaved
soul booster
godlike-ing @ DOTA all-star
ks-ing mutizens of MU Dark Lord
endless hours of KTV
DVD-ing @ home
enjoying surround sound system
skindippin @ puerto galera
mana leak
awful smell/breathe/odor
annoying geeks
those nasty gurls
bad loobeys
long hours of foreplay
for ownage
unlimited hours of lan/ol gaming
mariah's whistle tone
a good gymbuddy
a beach wedding with my love
