Thursday, May 03, 2007
5:35 PM

... trials ...


it has been a while since i felt this way.

i mean, i have been good, in my entire existence,
i can claim that the past weeks have been the best ME.
good at work, good at home.
good with friends, good to my mahal.
good to myself!

everything seemed perfect.
and it was real. it was really happening.
and im getting the hang of it, and loving it.

and then at snap, some random guy would come into the picture...
telling things that were not true.
saying things that were purely based on his perceptions
without asking the other parties for confirmation.

this guy apparently told my mahal that i was courting him.

truth is: i am not. i never did.

but i did treat him nice. even sweet to the extent that we were like sisters!
that is why i really cant comprehend where in this world did he get that kind
of information that i was courting him! we never met. i never asked him out.
if ever i was into him, that would be the 1st thing id do ryt?
but i was treating him as a friend...
in fact, i was talking to my bestfriend about him over the weekend:
naghahanap kami ng puede ireto sa kanya!
so really, where the hell did he get that kind of clue that i was into him...?
where?

worse thing was, today, like no ordinary day,
i found myself alone.
i could not call coi, he's out of the country, maybe asleep now.
i could not call earvin, he's into his rehearsals now.
and my bestfriend could not comfort me, simply because he would
initially hate the situation and that would leave me somewhere else
and i dont want that to happen.
(he's my bestfriend eh, he would not want to see me this way...)

but its all good.
mahal and i have talked about it already. several times actually.
and yeah, like he said, maybe these are trials, coz we're getting there.
at kailangan namin kumapit.

i just got scared. i have been working on improving myself every single day.
i have been investing on winning his trust and this thing happens.
this crazy thing happens.
i have never been scared like this. never.

but with an assurance that this shall pass,
and we will still be together,
and that we will remain...
i was back to my senses.

mahal, mahal kita.
at opo, naniniwala po akong mahal mo ako.
i should stop worrying already. _______________________________________